I became insane, with long intervals of horrible sanity. - Edgar Allan Poe .
I get defensive because I care, because I know this is all an act, you can’t fool me.
I’m trying the hardest I can, you don’t know what I’m doing with who, when, where, anything. But you feel the need to judge me. You feel the need to try and hurt me. You talk shit to me and about me, you make me feel like a horrible person. But i don’t talk shit about you to anyone. No one knows the problems I have to deal with. You say we’re the same but we’re not. The difference is I tried the whole time, and that I’m trying to be happy and to still feel young. You don’t understand because you got to keep your youth. I lost my youth, my body, my friends, my life. I’m trying to pick up the pieces and put everything back together. I’m struggling. You don’t help. You try as hard as you can to make my life difficult. I can not even tell you how many nights I’ve cried myself to sleep. I don’t do the things you think I do. The things kids my age do. I don’t drink or do drugs or any of that. I wake up go to work and go home and go to sleep. Occasionally I get to see my friends but usually I’m too tired. I’m trying and I’m tired of it not being good enough. I’m physically and emotionally tired. I’m depressed. But I don’t tell anyone anything, until now.